i wish

the day you went away…

25th of June.. it’s been a month since you were last seen by Abah.. by me, it would be almost two months since i last saw you.. and i guess now, forever you will never be seen again by us.. i dont know where are you Maui.. I’ve been calling for your name, searching for you at wherever place that i thought you would be, but all the effort were in vain.. u never come home.. i was hopeless.. but Alhamdulillah, i still got my two “addiction” i would say, Ciko and Sheena to take my thoughts away from you.. but still, it was not easy for me to let you go.. one day when i was trying to get some afternoon nap with both of them, suddenly i remember my wish.. yes, that one wish, that might be the reason you leave me..

“abah, cek nak kucing baru.. Maui ni jahat la.. suka tak balik umah.. pastu kalo balik mesti kejap je.. taknak pon biar cek main-main dengan die. balik makan je”

“yela2.. alah, kata Maui jahat la ape la tapi Maui takde cari.. telipon umah asyik tanya Maui ada rumah ke tak mcm la kucing tu boleh ckp..”

and later, the two kittens were born.. and i was so overwhelmed.. Mak and Abah even brought them to see me all the way from home in Kg Baru to KMB. few times. i was so happy.. i almost forgot about Maui.. ALMOST, people, just almost.. i still asked about how he was doing at home.

but i guess, that is why there is this one quotation

” be careful of what you wish for, cuz you just might get it all”

well, if that line is meant for IB result that is coming out very soon, then it would be such blessing, not a warning like it should be.. but in this case, i totally ignored it and yeah, i sort of regret my words, or should i call it my WISH..

i did not cry for the loss.. at least not infront of Abah, or anyone.. i pretended like i dont care as much but infact i do.. i waited for the return everyday. i woke up everyday and open the door with the hope of seeing Maui waiting for me to kindly hug him and kiss him as i always do.. tapi bak kata orang, ” harapan hanya tinggal harapan”.. i really want to cry to Abah and tell him how much i miss Maui.. but i didnt, because i know how much he hates to see me cry for any reason.. when it comes about my cats, Abah is the best person to turn to.. as i believed he is a “cat whisperer” since he talked to the cats almost every morning when he prepares their food and milk..  well, that is another story.. actually, i try not to cry, as in trying to be strong and to think that what a waste to shed some tears for a cat.. but it would not be fair for Maui since i’ve been crying myself to sleep for 7 consecutive nights during Tuah’s death during first semester in KMB.. i felt like i lost one of my important pieces in my life during that time.. i’ve been dragging myself to almost everywhere since i was so weak, and broken hearted during that time..  mmg sgt teruklah time tuh.. cuma maybe org tak perasaan. tapi ade la someone tegur time nak pegi DS “wa, ko apsal mcm tak berdaya je ni?” and i just smiled.. and maybe that is why i’m better at handling Maui’s MIA.. and yeah, i did cry for Maui.. for few nights.. but not consecutively la.. but today, right now, i’m letting Maui go.. i believe i can accept this.. though i was still sad because we never had a chance to properly say goodbye to each other.. but it’s okay Maui.. i believe u are in heaven right now, along with Tuah.. and also Tommy, Jonny, Boboy, Lolo, Mimi, Cantek, Mok, Tam, Abu, Teja, and so many names i could not remember.. and so i’m singing~

“oh where, oh where could my baby be?

the Lord took them away from me

they’ve gone to heaven

so i got to be good

so i can see my baby

when i leave this world.. “

Tuah…=(

Mawi.. =(

Ciko! =)

Sheena! =)

bye Maui, bye Tuah, and bye all of the rest that also already gone, my addiction for my entire life, my cats..

owh, here is some eye candy for u guys.. i cried when i watch this.. i cried my heart out.. seriously.. i miss Maui.. and Tuah.. and the rest of my cats.. i’m crying right now as i watch it again.. tgk byk2 kali pon boley nanges lagi.. i guess i’m gonna cry myself to bed again tonight..

please click the link below, please3.. but if u love animal for example cats as much as i do, and also as emotional as i am, please prepare some tissues.. mine is fnished already..

christian the lion =)

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